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Monday, March 29, 2004

This weekend was alot of fun. My dad came over to Cleveland and we went around looking for things to do. Hard to find here, especially on a Sunday! We ended up shopping alot and going to see a wonderful movie: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. That is now my favorite movie. So ... beautiful. And trippy. And disorienting. After seeing it I got a sort of movie-induced high, something I don't remember a movie doing to me before (unless you count the nightcrawler-induced minor buzz created by seeing X2). You must see it. NOW!!

Also, I went to the park Sunday before my dad picked me up. It was beautiful, the temperatures in the sixties and the rhythms of spring just beginning to pulse up from the small patch of wilderness at the end of my street. There was this smell I couldn't peg, but I knew had to do with bodies of water during the warmer seasons. It wafted through the air on small jet streams and entered my sense of smell in small bursts, invigorating and encouraging my pagan excitement for the spring and summer. It reignited my passion for the natural world, and made me realize once again how unimportant the encroaching grasp of civilization is when compared to the ancient biology which has been in existence for billions of years before us. It gave rise to us thinking apes, nurtures us into dominance, and now we must if not preserve it above all else at least care about it and realize its signifigance.
Anyway...
There were flowers out! Not even April yet! And I saw at least one bumblebee that day. It's here! After all of these false starts spring is ACTUALLY HERE!!

w00t!

Erm, thassall for now, though I could elaborate on the fact that I have not contacted my boyfriend in a long while, and I am not sure whether or not the relationship is deceased. Also my dad and her family organized a trip to NYC following a camping trip my family takes each year. We get to NYC and then she flies in- and we'll see a show of guess who.

When it comes to music, BTW, TMBG only comes up all the times because of the obsession I half heartedly share with my friend, for kicks and giggles. I quite frankly am sort of sick of them by now, but I continue tolerating them for novelty's sake. I am more into other bands now- Venus Hum, The Flaming Lips, Bjork, Basement Jaxx (I just discovered them), and many others. TMBG is just in my list of bands I like for fun, although I recognize their talent etc and their live show was admiteddly fun. But I'm not obsessed, I don't think. I'm much more obsessed with buttons, Eternal Sunshine, and NYC right now. Mmmmm NYC. I can't wait. *looks forward to spring brreaK*

Well, NOW I can say that's about it ! Right? Right. Good!

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

First off about the hair. It worked out pretty well, and I look completely different now. It's sort of a triangular mass of frizzy curls and it can barely be braided. I am satisfied, though turning it into dreadlocks is still a plan of mine. This summer. This ever-apporaching , glorious, NY and TMBG filled summer.

Speaking of NYC and TMBG.. . They Might Be Giants are playing three hours away in Ann Arbor. I am definitley planning on going there with a few other fans and perhaps my signifigant male gendered other. Twill be most fun, and though tis happening on the third of July I am already excitedly anticipating the sure-to-be-meomorable performance.

Ode to Summer (spontaneous haik time!!)

The summer sweetly
Waltzes into existence
Oh! Jubilation!

Please pardon the pseudo victorian tone as I am currently intoxicated with the vivid humors of the odd soft beverage called Red Bull. The taste closely resembles citrus and the aroma is nothing but pleasant, however, the concottion seems to contain overly stimulating substance such as extracts of the guarana plant and caffiene. This beverage has awakened in me a madness, complete with manic happiness and increased heart rate.

(sheesh I think I know one drink I'm staying away from for now on. If this is how I react to one can of red bull I wouldn't want to see myself intoxicated with alcohol or drugs!)

Anyway back to the subject. TMBG are also playing less than a block away from my dad's house in Prospect Park. In late July, right as I return from a camping festival called Starwood. I wish a person to come with me. It will be a huge battle whether or not she can come.

*distracted by other things*
*stops writing post*

Will catch up later. I guess.


Thursday, March 18, 2004

Eeek...I'm getting my hair cut at the salon in a few hours. My hair has never changed from its long, braides state in my life, and I'm completley sick of it, so I'm geeting it cut. A disadvantage is that I will look very different than before. An advantage is that it will be much easier to take care of, and that change is...aum, good? Isn't that how the phrase goes?

Oh, and my mom will be gone for like two weeks. And I have choir contests Saturday. An I have an insane amount of homework from english. And I'm reading The Jungle by Upton Sinclair. And the depression is pretty much obliterated by humorous comics and my skill at distracting myself from thoughts that depress me. Is that habit wrong?

Anyway, The Jungle is pretty good. But what an incredibly depressing book! It makes me so freaking happy that I'm not actually poor, but it also makes me wish something could be done to prevent poverty from happening. Is there anything that can be done? It's already apparent that communism is inefective. And capitalism is just as bad. Drat, I wish there didn't always have to be a population of people in the world who are screwed over by society. *sigh* This is just how human cultures operate, I guess.

Makes me wanna be a fruit bat. Yeah, a fruit bat. That would be sweet. I'd be a bat but I wouldn't have to eat insects by the thousand- just sweet, sweet mangos and leathery stretchy wings.

But for now I guess I'll make the most out of this species I belong to, and somehow try to make things better. . . *ponders*

Eek! Time keeps creeping up on me! I have to go!

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

The cloud of suffocating melancholy and the spurts of random crying are almost gone now. By the end of the week things should be 'going back to normal' but I still can't help but think about it at least once every hour.

It really is a life changing event for everybody at the school, whether or not they express it publically.

Rest in peace, Jon. I rarely knew ya, but one thing I did know is that you were a unexpectedly kind 'popular' person...and that you should have gone on to live much longer. Wherever you are, as someone wrote on your locker, keep on smokin'.

*just noticed how odd this post is, but cannot be bothered by self reflectional self editing*

Monday, March 08, 2004

I know I have not posted in a long while, but that's because I have been pretty happy, and I see very little reason to moan and bitch about the crappier/scarier things in life when I am in an upbeat mood. HOwever today is different. A kid in my grade commited suicide over the weekend. He shot himself in the head in his backyard. Nobody saw it coming, he was relatively popular and always acted happy. He was also seen as funny.

I barely knew the guy, I never really paid much attention to him although other people did.

First time a peer of mine has died.

The hurdle my mind just can't crawl over is the fact that he is dead and always will be. He is never coming back. I know it sounds obvious, and you'd think I'd be used to the sensation of someone you know dieing after my grandpa died, but I just couldn't get my mind around that obvious fact. He will never be here again. Ever. Never will he see graduation, or Spiderman 2 or anything ....

Just one small movement of his trigger finger pushed his life off of the cliff of everything known and into a pit of nothingness. I know this sounds like gothic poetry but jesus christ I mean we're talking about an actual person really dieing here.

Just really reminds you how short and important life is, and how selfish the act of suicide really is.

I just don't know what else to say.

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